🟨⬜ JFK inner circle - Commitment-Questions

Who this article is for...

  • people who I asked if they want to be in my "inner circle"

Note: This article is not finished yet!
You can read the collection of thoughts below, which could appear in the article once it is finished.

Connected articles

  • collection of single calls

  • Meeting Checklist (Facilitate)

Collection (to create content of later)

  • Deeper or looser

    • nothing in between

    • decision-point // fork in the road


  • Time + attention

    • "Everything grows with time & attention"

    • time for communication

    • time for other attention towards person

      • Journaling about their challenges
        -> How can I support?
        -> What would I do in his/her position?

      • talking with other people about it

    • being flexible + available when (really) needed

  • reliability

    • answering within certain time-frame

    • actually doing things you said
      or actively communicating that you don't (= taking full responsibility)

  • openness & Transparency

    • experimenting with relationship + communication + tools + etc.

    • external + internal
      -> "I've listened to your recommendation"
      -> "Your recommendation did (no) resonate with me"

    • Commitment to telling the truth + not holding back anything
      -> speaking out things, even if uncomfortable (for either one)
      -> pointing out each others blind-spots & shadows & triggers
      -> "I believe you're not honest with yourself about... !"

  • Mastery

    • same level of mastery-commitment as it would be in "work"

    • deep relationships not less important

  • Win-Win vs. "one-sided"

    • "receiving = greatest giving"

    • One of my strength = giving perspective + sharing ideas + etc
      -> open to receive?

  • other

    • listening / reading mutual recommendations
      = Default (or active decision that not)

    • Yes-And solution

      • Mastery AND levity
        -> not (only) about making it more "serious", but (also) about making it more fun + "lighter"

      • more Structure AND more Spontaneity

  • intention vs. perfection (!)

    • goes for all of these points

    • not important that 1h per week is actually perfectly invested

    • (!) real, genuine intention for mutual support (including the time & attention that's needed for a relationship to grow)


In the end I will always follow my intuition, if I want to have a closer relationship with someone or not.

This list of questions is only my "cognitive prediction" for when it will feel right (could be different though!).

So I guess, it will feel right for me to go deeper if you can (authentically!) say yes to the following questions:

  1. Are you willing to commit to being totally transparent about the feelings & thoughts you have regarding me?
    (= telling me about blind-spots + shadows + gaps + etc,)

  2. Do you want to receive open & honest "feedback" from me, even if it might hurt or be uncomfortable?

  3. Do you want to commit to vulnerably mirror back, when it did hurt (or feel uncomfortable)?

As always it's about the intention, not about perfection.

  1. Do you intend to give the relationship the time & attention that it needs to grow?

  2. Do you want to commit to spending time on the relationship outside of calls & direct conversations?
    (= e.g. Journaling about others challenges + how to support)

  3. Do you want to commit to going for mastery also in the small things (e.g. when it comes to communication / tracking of "personal unclarities")?

  4. Are you open to experiment with different Tools & ideas?

  5. Do you intend to (potentially) cancel other things, in case help is really (urgently) needed + prioritize this support over other things?
    (-> of course not over familiy, but potentially work-calls or so)

  6. Do you want to commit to being reliable in your communication & actions?
    (= does NOT mean replying back fast)

  7. [Conscious repitition] Are you commited to giving & receiving honest Feedback, even if it's uncomfortable for either one uf os (or both)?

Once more:
Intention, not perfection!



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