The Surrender Experiment – Live

Welcome to the digital home of “my” experiment of Total Surrender. Letting the life of Johannes Fischerkeller become a true piece of art, a masterpiece, becoming a “person of glass” by conducting my experiments with truth in the open with total transparency.

I want to stop living life!
And let myself be lived by it.

Embracing Imperfection

Why try to write a personal homepage at all, if it’s impossible to present an accurate view anyways? Humans are such complex, multi-layered beings who are – to make it even worse – constantly changing. And words, especially written words, seem to be a poor vehicle to convey such depth. So why even try?

Because it’s worth it: Imperfection is an essential part of life – a beautiful part of reality, not a problem to get rid of – and there is no point running away from it. So let’s try. 🙌

At first, I thought you were an arrogant jerk who pretended to have all the answers and to know how to make the world perfect.
– Ben L.

Warnings

Before sharing any concrete thing about me or my work, let me say this though:

• If you find me to be arrogant/pretentious on first impression (“this guy thinks he got all the answers”) that’s normal. I haven’t found a way yet to speak my truth in a way that doesn’t come across like that for at least some people.

• What’s also normal is this: Some content, usually those parts that will feel most valuable later on, will at the beginning – as long as not backed by direct experience in your own life – feel repetititive! (little joke, I know how to spell repetive 😛.)

Keep both of these in mind and, if it turns out to be true, come back here to click on the links above that go deeper.

If anything written here is touched with pride, just dismiss it!

Two more bigger warnings:

• First, the person who is closest to me says that I’m leaving a trail of devastation behind me when getting in contact with people. This might be more relevant for in-person interactions, not for a visit to the website, but maybe a miniature version applies here as well.

• Second, you can’t unsee things. Interacting with the writings, audios & videos of this message might activate a deep inner knowing, a knowing that recognizes truth when it hears it, yet makes it impossible to keep intact the web of illusions that functions as a foundation to live (“plod along with”) life in our current society. If you want to avoid that painful experience of potential disillusionment, then better don’t start reading at all!

Danger: You can’t unsee a truth you’ve encountered; only suppress it (at great costs).

Final notes (How to engage with this site)

A few final things before we get started:

• Information ↔ insight: Most content on this site is less concerned with information and more with creating insight & tapping your latent inspiration. Therefore:

• Read with your heart & soul, not (only) the mind: Don’t get attached to words, they’re only portals, opening doors to deeper truths & insights. Especially don’t try to compare terminology with other sources, as …

• There is no external source for anything I write on this site. The only true source is my own deep inner wisdom. External sources – even when quoted a lot – are only ever used if they resonate with my own inner truth at the moment of writing.

• You already know! There is a part of you, that recognizes truth when it hears it. Immediately. Undoubtedly (at least before the mind jumps in). Much of my writing is addressed to this knower. Regarding deeper spiritual truths & perspectives, there is nothing some part of you don’t already know.

• Questions, objections & resistances will almost certainly come up while reading. Even though heavily inflated by the mind, they all have a true core & this core is likely addressed at some other point. Just stay patient and …
  Go with the Flow: No one way actually fits all. This site is set up so there are infinite ways to dance through this; play with it, enjoy the journey. And even if you end up clicking on the first external link and never come back! This is not about me. Maybe that was exactly the role this site was supposed to play in your life. 🙌 → Trust yourself!

I hope this website reaches the right people: those who are ready for a radical transformation, a Leap in Consciousness, for truly committing to (their) Life and taking 100% responsibility.
I also hope it will reach many others who will find the content here worthy of consideration, although they may not be ready to fully live or practice it yet. May this website plant (or water) a seed that will sprout later in time… 🙌

What will follow in this article

• What the Experiment of Total Surrender means to me

• The Ultimate Vision (within an imperfect world)

• Different pathways for getting to know me & my work (links only)

• Top Recommendations (What feels closest connected to my being?)

All models are wrong. Some are helpful.

The Experiment of Total Surrender

Here is a controversial statement: I want to stop living life!
Why? Because I want to let myself be lived by it.
“It” is Life itself, the Universe, God, the Tao, Spirit – whatever name resonates most with you.

I want to stop living life! And let myself be lived by it.

What does that mean?

It means listening to the call of the Universe and answer it. Moment to moment to moment.
It means being really sensitive to what life asks of me and be courageous enough to follow through.
It means letting go of personal likes & dislikes that only stem from the illusion of separation and the belief that I can only be fine if things go my way.
It means holding the vision of (unattainable) perfection along with the reality of what is (including that there are still personal likes & dislikes running my life).
It means letting myself become an instrument of service, naturally acting for the welfare of all (which includes “myself”, as one unique expression of the “all”).
It means striving to be in alignment with life as it is, not with my IDEA of how life should be.
It means letting go of plans & concepts once they become limiting, using them only as stepping stones for growth.
It means being truly open and trusting in its purest sense, deeply believing that everything is exactly as it should be and that there is a higher “intelligence” guiding me and all other things.
It means trusting myself as spirit, as one unique expression of the Universe (“When you’re trusting yourself, you’re trusting in the very wisdom that created you”).
It means letting Life come alive in me, letting the Universe wake up to itself in me, returning to Tao, returning to the source & becoming (realizing that I am) one with everything.

How does that express?

By definition, I can’t give a specific expression (or even multiple ones) of how this Experiment of Total Surrender comes to form. Life in the Surrender Experiment is an emergent property. It’s unpredictable, expresses itself differently from moment to moment. I can’t know ahead of time what will happen. Especially as it’s also dependent on the evolution of the whole world & all the people around me.

"Purpose" is no separate entity. It exists only in the context of the world around you.

The thing I can do though is to look back at how it has expressed in past moments and give a careful best guess how it will express moving forward. Knowing those guesses come from a double-limited perspective: First, it’s only my view, my unique angle on truth. Second, it’s my view now, at only one point in time.
With that limitation in mind, let’s try:

My best guess

To no one's surprise the Surrender-Experiment is a journey of greater & greater alignment with the Universe. Alignment with something that is constantly expanding & changing is not a state though, not an outcome, but a direction, a process.

Alignment = Moving in the same direction as the Universe with the same speed.

What might be more unique to my journey, is that I feel called to make that process openly accessible for everyone (who is interested!), documenting as much as possible, sharing not just the results but also most of the private journals that lead up to all projects, writings & “tangible expressions”. Imagine we’re all sitting in a glass house full of curtains. Part of my call (this certainly isn’t right for everyone!) is to pull back all the curtains.
Gandhi’s autobiography is called “The Story of my Experiments with Truth”, as he recounted & shared them after the fact. My experiment are basically shared while they’re happening.

Some artists create their masterpieces while people are watching: painting or sculpting their material under the eyes of the public. That’s what I do. Only that the canvas is my life, that the dance floor is earth; artfully playing around with the paradox that humans are imperfect by our nature and yet can be fully aligned with the Universe with all our imperfections. Dancing with the paradox of “being there” while “never figuring it out”.

A life as a transparent Masterpiece (in the making) in greatest service to Life.

How does this serve the world?

For decades we have studied what can go wrong with people’s psyche, while producing more & more that malfunction. Today we’re starving for psychologically truly healthy people. We need the role-model of deeply flourishing people more than ever, yet we’re fighting against what those people have to say, paradoxically also more than ever.

Part of my calling is to be a showcase for how to live a truly meaningful life in a time of collective meaning-crisis; how to flourish in a time & context of (very subtle) destruction; how to experience abiding joy in a time of pandemic despair.

You don’t have to live a life like me to benefit from my path.
As human beings we have the extraordinary ability to learn from one another’s experiences. In case you’re interested in living life truly aligned with the Universe, this site will not be completely useless to you. In fact, if I’m speaking my full truth, I believe it will be of immense value. But only for those who art willing to let go & transcend their old sense of self.

The Ultimate Vision (within an imperfect world)

Multiple Pathways

Different people value different information in order to feel a (potential) deeper resonance. While I like to hear about someone’s visions & dreams (= future focus), people often ask me about my past, where I come from to be at this point. Nothing is more right or wrong. They all add different perspectives to the overall picture.
Here are the pathways that I could come up with by myself that might be interesting launch points to start exploring from.

• My virtues

  • Synergy article

• My past (where I come from)

• My “futures” (potential directions where I move towards = visions)

  • Harder for me not to move in the direction of visions, because I can see it so much more clearly

  • I can feel the pain of not moving there (↔ abstract idea)

• My work/creation

  • Intuition academy

  • articles

• My dark side (weaknesses)

  • Biggest struggles (pain + vulnerability + capacity love vs. seeing)

• My experiments

  • mdg (greatest serving with littlest impact) + wbc + m99

• The Books I love & resonate with most

• The people who are most influential for my current way of looking at existence

• My friend’s view of me (“good” and “bad”)

• My self-reflections (inner talk)

Top Recommendations

Here are the things that I will go into a bit more depth (once you scroll further down) to give you a slight sense of who I am:

1. An "in-progress" document about Owning my role, where I try to put into words the parts that I can see/sense about who the Universe asks me to be (& what to do).

2. The FAQ article Synergetic Connections. It represents well the kind of people I want to get in touch with, which is the main purpose of my current journey (= organically attracting the right people).
   #Love; #Wholeness; #Openness; #Trust; #communication; #Intention vs. Perfection

3. A blog article from late 2022 (which speaks from the depth of my heart)
   #"ModernDayGandhi"-Experiment; #2023Motto

And if you want to get super super personal then there is also this:

4. My Close Friends Updates file, where I keep the people I feel closest to updated about my life, including both moments of inspiration & enthusiasm as well as moments of sadness, pain & crying (actually recorded & uploaded).
   #total transparency; #vulnerability; #wholeness; #behind the curtains

Owning My Role

This is the most raw of all the puzzle pieces I'm sharing, so it also feels the most vulnerable, especially putting it at the top of the list...
So.. that's exactly why I start with it (#pain sets me free).

Note that it is not only the content that feels vulnerable but also the fact that this is no finished article yet, but a private Google Doc in progress which I continuously edit & adapt.
If this is no problem for you then feel free to access it & skim around. Just be aware, that what you see in the doc might already change a day later. :)

"Modern Day Gandhi" Blog Article

Does it have to be so hard to serve the world with all your heart?

That's the name of the blog article (2,5 pages) I recommend starting with if you're really interested in me, my worldview & the direction I'm heading:

https://johannesfischerkeller.substack.com/p/does-it-have-to-be-so-hard-to-serve

Synergetic Connections in Service to the World

When I started my "no home base" journey in October 2022 I set out to get in touch with "the right people", knowing that they exist, but not really knowing who they were and how to "find" them.

In the meantime, there is a lot more clarity on who those people are, or rather, what qualities they embody so that true synergy & symbioses are the natural by-product that feels energizing for everyone involved and has ripple effects to the people around & the whole world.

Next step: Finding out how to find them (or rather: how to open the gates & signposts so they can find me)

Close Friends Updates

Having failed with many attempts to start a "newsletter" to keep people updated about my life & journey, I decided at the end of 2023 to just focus on the people that are closest to me, sending them updates via text & (most of the time) voice recordings.

Yet, as there is nothing to hide, this document is accessible to everyone!

Especially interesting could be the big monthly recaps and all other recordings marked with one or more stars (⭐).

[old] A Letter to Charles Eisenstein

Sometimes there are moments when you have a deep inside and things become clear & (more) tangible that have been under the surface for weeks/months/years.
One of those moments occurred to me lately when I was reading an article by Charles Eisenstein & especially when reading one particular line:

My prayer in those years was, “Put me to good use.” I would say that to people of means. I would say it to medicine plants. I would say it to God. Please, please, please put me to good use.

As I could deeply relate to that, I wrote Charles this letter, which could also be really helpful for other people to understand me:

https://johannesfischerkeller.substack.com/p/god-please-make-use-of-me

More About Me

If you want to go even deeper into my mind, heart & soul, then this FAQ-Tool is the optimal place to be at. 👌

Just type in any keywords in the search bar that you're interested in or use the different categories to navigate through.

Want to support?

The best way to support anything & anyone is always this:

And... here are 3 ways to concretely support my unique expression of that "bigger me":

1️⃣ Support with your Attention

Everything will grow if you give it time & attention.

Your attention is probably the most valuable "asset" that you have (way more than any materialistic thing or concrete skill).

If you want to support my unique way & expression to serve life & the Universe, then regularly send us your attention. One way to do that: Signing up for the mailing list:

2️⃣ Support financially

3️⃣ Support with your time

Appendix (internal)

Improving this article (things to add/change in next iteration)

• meaning of "359"

• integrate Updates as "new normal"

Links & Referrals

Tags

_English: Intuition, Website, Homepage
_Deutsch: